"Awake: A Memoir," Reviewed by Chris Stuckenschneider

Jen Hatmaker’s new memoir is hard-hitting and cuts to the bone. The popular author and podcaster writes frankly and passionately in her memoir, “Awake,” as she relates how she broke out of the church bubble she was raised in, her dreams of “happily after ever” in shambles after her minister-husband’s affair.

The shocker occurred in the summer of 2020, when the couple had been married for 26 years. Their split not only sidelined Hatmaker’s life path, but that of her 5 kids, “…teens and young adults. They (had) instant access to the chaos. There is no hiding when a dad goes to bed after a normal evening and moves out the next morning.”

With no hope of reconciliation, Hatmaker finds herself in a lawyer’s office 36 hours after the revelation, raw and struggling to accept what’s happened. So began Hatmaker’s complete reconstruction of self, an ongoing, at times brutal assessment that involved looking back while moving forward to question the strict Christian beliefs she’d been taught.

Hatmaker was raised by loving, longtime married parents, who believed Hatmaker would follow in their footsteps and marry a good, God-fearing man, settle down, have children and continue to practice the Baptist religion in which she’d been raised. A product of the Christian culture of the time, Hatmaker was led to believe, as a young person, in a dual standard for the sexes. Being a virgin was a requirement for marriage. With the approach of adolescence, Hatmaker states she heard the following:

“Girls’ bodies are a problem and need to be heavily policed. Girls’ bodies are an offering for boys. Girls’ bodies are easily ruined. Girls are responsible for a pure bedroom. So our sexual deviance was our fault, and the boy’s sexual deviance was our fault. Got it.”

At 19, Jen and her boyfriend of 10 months, Brandon Hatmaker, met with Jen’s parents to announce they wanted to get married. Jen was a college sophomore (19) and Brandon a college senior (21). The young couple had their future planned—would compile their incomes to support themselves. Brandon would become a student pastor and Jen would become a teacher.

Moving backward and forward in time, Hatmaker, a former Christian author who has become more liberal in her beliefs, candidly writes about her growing up years, and the moral standards and strict adherence to church rules she followed, guilt occurring when she felt she failed to measure up morally. Hatmaker juxtaposes her past with her present, as she struggles to make peace and accept her failed marriage, one day at a time, the pain a pointed arrow in her chest.

“Awake” is an accessible book many may identify with, about difficult subjects, especially given the divisive era in which we live. Though Hatmaker’s opinions on religion, women’s rights, sexual orientation and other hot button issues might be offensive to some, there is wisdom in her wake-up call, and an honesty that can’t be ignored.

Buy the Book.